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"Your personality is directly related to how you interact with other people," says William Cane, author of The Birth Order Book of Love, since the first people you interacted with were your parents and siblings.Figuring out your own birth-order personality, and that of your significant other, is simply one strategy you can use to assess your compatibility, adds Catherine Salmon, Ph D, professor of psychology at the University of Redlands in California, and coauthor of the upcoming book, The Myth of the Middle Child.Oldest females, on the other hand, are more likely to be bossy, confident and aggressive than their younger sisters.Middles Middle children are the least defined of the types (there can only be one eldest and one baby, but middles shift depending on how many there are in the whole family).But the classic conundrum here is that no one wants to be in charge."You may find that neither of you wants to handle the finances or make other important decisions," says Dr. Two last-born parents could be in a tough position: Both may prefer to be the kids' friend, not the heavy hand when it comes to discipline, which puts a strain on a marriage.Of course, a lot depends on how domineering the firstborn partner is, and how "classic" the middle child's accommodating personality is.
Relationship Tip: Try to suss out whether you have controlling tendencies (which you should keep in check so you don't overwhelm your younger-sib spouse) or if you both are acting like "babies."Youngest with Youngest These two can have a lot of fun—a pair of carefree, risk-taking lovers nearly always do.
However, some middle children (probably for the same reasons as above) can be secretive. Beloved, treasured, and in many cases babied for much longer than their older siblings (and often by their older siblings), the stereotypical youngest of the brood tends to be less responsible and more devil-may-care, with less of a hankering to take charge. In fact, many "grow up" more quickly than kids with sibs, thanks to how much time they spend with adults, says Dr. Wondering how different birth-order pairings typically get along romantically?
"That can be different if the baby of the family came after a gap of more than a few years, though," says Dr. In that case, the baby of the family may act more like an only child or an older sibling—as though the family had started all over again. Read on: Oldest with Oldest Can you say Bill and Hillary Clinton?
Oldest with Youngest This pairing has some good mojo behind it: The youngest child is cared for, while the older sibling can exert control.
"The baby of the family tends to be the type who needs attention; the firstborn, who was alone for a while in the family, doesn't need to seek attention, because he or she usually got it," says Dr. Relationship Tip: Emphasize the relative strengths of your personalities.